Bastards

Once there was a seed.  Somebody planted it, watered it, nurtured it, protected it from frost and slugs. The seed grew. First leaves, then flowers, then tiny yellow buds, which swelled with months of sun and rain.  And from a seed the size of a child’s fingernail grew huge golden globes.  In a couple of weeks they would have been ready for harvesting.  We would have sat at the table and enjoyed them all the more for having witnessed their journey from beginning to end. Or at least we would have done if some bastard hadn’t gone and picked them first.  It’s not the first time  I’ve been robbed at the allotment. It’s amazing how gutting it feels.

I don’t think I’ll grow butternut squash again, which is a shame because I love them and they make great baby food. I’m sure whoever stole them isn’t reading this blog, but I hope they enjoy my organically grown, lovingly raised produce. Actually I don’t, I hope they choke. Not enough to make me guilty of projectional manslaughter, but enough that they require a brutally performed Heimlich manoeuvre resulting in several fractured ribs.  One word. Karma.

About Becky Dickinson

Mum of three. Writer, blogger, grower. Trying to keep my head above the compost heap.

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Comments

  1. Absolutely rotten behaviour – report it to the allotment committee (if you have one) because this kind of thing is usually another plot-holder, not a random passer-by and sometimes ‘somebody’ knows who it is and can suggest the theft stops. We had it once on our site and a committee member managed to work out who the thief was and talk to them after which … no more problems.

    • Thanks Kay, I have mentioned it, but I don’t think there’s anything they can do. I think it’s probably an insider too, as they’d been properly cut. Vandals just tend to smash things and I seem to be a target for that too! Enjoyed your peas and cucumbers book btw (:

  2. How absolutely infuriating, especially after all that work raising them from seed. You don’t expect the sort of person who would enjoy a nice home grown organic butternut squash to be a thief. I wonder if other plot owners have lost things too. We’ve had shed break-ins by outsiders looking for gas cannisters and things. So annoying.

  3. I’m sorry. That is a real shame that someone would do that. I think maybe we should hook you up with some cctv hidden in a gnome or get a rota going to protect your veg. Karma indeed.

  4. Big Brother gnome. I like it ….

  5. BASTARDS I concur :( What a disappointment for you. What makes people think taking other’s things is cool? Sorry to hear this x

    • Thanks for the support. I know it’s very tiny and trivial in the grand scheme of things, but still leaves a bit of a shitty feeling. Will just have to count my blessings in other ways. x

  6. I’m cursing them on your behalf – if they needed the food it would be sad, but understandable. I suspect they were just being selfish & greedy though.
    If you need a vigilante mob of gnomes I’m in :o)

  7. That’s bloomin rubbish :( We have had similar in the past. Does your head in.

  8. Beautiful blog. Filled with fun!
    Wow i did not realise people stole from other patches at allotments. That is horrible. Hopefully they choked.
    Happy Halloween

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